Draft Day

Today was a good day. My dad went out and bought a Sixers hat specifically so we could wear it to the draft party we went to here in New York. Then he got really said when a bunch of young girls started walking into the bar and he took it off. Then he put it back on once he made friends with a couple random groups of dudes at the bar like an hour later. He was very happy after that. 

You see, sometimes you need to trust the process. You can't give up on the draft party when it's 6 o'clock and the draft doesn't start til 7:30. And you can't give up on the plan just because you have three centers and Jakarr Spongebob Sampson. Trust the process.

It's nice to see things looking up for the Sixers. It's also important to note a couple key facts. Some are optimistic, some are realistic, but all, in my humble opinion, are worth noting. 

1. Pull back just a little bit Philly. I'm seeing what too many 2020-2035 NBA Champions tweets. Like what is going on there? Are you trying to sound absurd and uneducated? I mean sure, we will probably win our first title in 2020. That seems reasonable, perhaps even a little conservative. But 15 straight titles? C'mon now that seems like an unprecedented amount of success. If we get our hopes up too high, we will end up disappointed. Let's aim for 7 titles and then anything more than that is gravy.
2. Get hype Philly. We've got 3 superstars on our squad. How many teams have this kind of talent? Should I be worried about the fact that these 3 dudes have combined for barely 30 NBA games? What about the fact that none of them have even played in an NCAA Tournament game let alone an NBA playoff game with any sort of consequences? How about the fact that all 3 of these dudes (yes, even Markelle) have injury histories that we might want to be kinda wary of? No, eff that man, draft day isn't the time to worry about those sort of things, it's the time to hang your hopes on the dreams of futures of tomorrow. Don't steal the underwear of success off my drying hangars by telling me these metaphors don't make any sense. This is our day! Suck it Knicks!
3. Remember, we could be the Knicks. Oh goodness. That would make me so sad if I were a Knick fan. Like what do you even do with yourself? Wait for Phil to be fired and replaced with Hinkie? Haha too bad that's impossible. Wait, that is impossible right? Like it's against league rules to hire Hinkie I'm assuming. Otherwise someone obviously would have done it by now and embraced the process since it's such an unbelievable success. Do it has to be against league rules. Only logical explanation.
4. Remember that this doesn't happen without Hinkie. I'm not really all that worried about Hinkie being under appreciated in Philly because, I mean, Xfinity Live, but still it's worth reiterating. First off all, Hinkie wiped the floor with all our good players setting the stage for that #1 pick Benny boy and our lovely stallion Joel. Plus he got us literally all the assets that led to us acquiring Fultzy. The pick swap got us from 5 to 3 (important) and then we used the Lakers and Kings picks that Hinkie acquired to jump from 3 to 1. So yes, we traded MCW and cap space for the #1 prospect in a draft that includes the legend of man that is Lonzo Ball. So that's pretty sweet. 
5. Hey Boston, have fun sitting on all those assets. Jimmy Butler ain't coming your way. Paul George is teaming up with Lebron in a year. And if you are trying to wait out the Cavs in the East, it ain't gonna work because the Bucks are ready to take the top spot! Wait, sorry I meant the Sixers are ready to take the top spot! We're the ones with a proven MVP caliber player and playoff experience right? And now the Boston asset tree finally runs out because the Nets have their pick ba-wait you're kidding right? Dang it Billy. You bring me so much sadness.

So in conclusion, Hinkie died for our sins, 

the floor is the 8th seed, I wouldn't trade RoCo straight up for Paul George, draft and stash, where do I sign up for a picture with the trophy, guys which one of our rookies is gonna be rookie of the year next year, JJ Redick, guys which one of our rookies is gonna be rookie of the year this year,and, of course, trust the process.

Alright so we win now right? It's over, we beat the game? Cool, so I'm gonna start franchise mode over and be the Kings next. 

Trust the Process of Making Trust the Process Posts

As we approach the NBA draft this coming Thursday night, I figured I'd throw up some old posts from the process so we can look back at our journey to the mountain top. And be on the look out for another trust the process type post after Thursday's draft is complete.

February, 2017
TJ to the Max

January, 2017
Other Things That Need To Be "The Processed"

October, 2016
Trust "The Process"

January, 2016
The Dish ... From Ish

December, 2015
There's No Place Like Holmes: Sixers vs. Spurs

November, 2015
The Liberty Ballers

September, 2015
Sixers Fever

TJ to the Max

By Jarrett Felix

Things change with time. It’s a powerful thing. That’s why people say phrases like “time heals all wounds” and stuff. As a runner I’m quite familiar with the concept of time. But still, time continues to do things that amaze me.

You see, time has changed my impression of TJ McConnell. Like a lot. Let’s take a look at the evolution of Mr. Timmy John, Jr. through a list of quotes that I basically said during his career. I paraphrase a bit in spots. We can watch as he goes from dude from Arizona to Michael Jordan. And, hey, shout out to his Chartiers Valley in PA for creating this fantastic specimen.

In the beginning, there was doubt …

“Is that the dude from Arizona? Did we use a second round pick on him? No? Ok, cool I wouldn’t want to waste our second round picks.”

“I like that he’s kinda scrappy and seems to play hard. But why wouldn’t we just get Aaron Craft or somebody like that. I’d rather have Aaron Craft that TJ McConnell. Like how big of a difference is there really between these two.”

“This was one of the Sixers most genius moves. Let’s start TJ McConnell. This is really gonna help us get the #1 pick.”

In the middle, there was more doubt …

“He’s really good at dribbling in circles. I will give you that.”

“It seems like he just doesn’t want to shoot. Like how can we have a player on the court who doesn’t want to shoot. What if he just happens across the ball in the final seconds of a game against like the Knicks or someone? We would lose in this hypothetical situation that hasn’t happened yet!”

“Like imagine if we had a rumba as point guard. And it just went around in circles, never shooting and handing off the ball to other players. How big of a difference is there really between the two.”

“I’m glad we didn’t resign Ish Smith, AKA the MVP of the league, so that we could get more minutes of TJ McConnell. Thanks, Colangelos.”

“It’s cool guys. We have a real point guard now. Sergio Rodriguez. He’s the next big thing.”

“This is a sick picture of Joel and Ben and co. But what is TJ doing in the picture? Can we photo shop him out?”

Then, I kinda started to come around …

“Hey, he’s not the most talented guy in the world. But he’s trying really hard out there. Gotta give credit where credit is due.”

“Yo did TJ almost just have a triple double? That can’t be right. That would be like a team coming back from 28-3 in the Super Bowl or something.”

“Dude, TJ played like 35 minutes last night. And … like … I don’t think it’s cause we are trying to tank. It’s cause he gives us the best chance to win …”

“Guys, Lebron was really pissed about his lack of playmakers/back-up point guards so the Cavs called us about TJ McConnell. Like Lebron James wants to improve his chances of winning a championship by getting TJ McConnell.”

“Guys, we just basically told the Cavs to go (edited for contact) over TJ. And I’m cool with it! We gotta keep TJ!”

And, well, I’m not proud of what happened next …

“I saw a picture of TJ side by side with Michael Jordan and I was like, how big of a difference is there really between these two.”

“Hey train writing staff, I’ve got an idea for my next post: ‘Can TJ McConnell be the best player on a championship team?’. I think I make a good argument for why he can be.”

“Here’s the thing, I’m worried we might have to trade Ben Simmons because I’m not sure how he and TJ’s games will blend.”

“People said that the process would never work, but those people didn’t understand. Like Sam was just hunting for his star player before he could start to build up around him. It’s a shame we didn’t give Sam the chance to build around TJ.”

“Who’s clutcher TJ or Brady? Like honestly, how big of a difference is there really between these two.”

“And, hey, shout out to his Chartiers Valley in PA for creating this fantastic specimen.”

Now if you will excuse me, I need to go buy a cat.

Other Things That Need To Be "The Processed"

By Jarrett Felix

My best friend is from Vermont, but has lived in or near Philly for basically the entirety of The Process. And I’m gonna be honest, he hates it. Not because he’s particularly morally opposed to the tanking or because he necessarily thinks it’s a stupid strategy. No, he hates it because of the way Philly fans walked around like The Process had a 100% probability of success. The way they walked around like everyone else in the league was so stupid and we were so much smarter than everyone else. So he hoped The Process would end up crashing and burning.

Well, after the running out of town of our GM, the injuries to our star players and the lack of cohesive line ups for years in a row, it looks like The Process haters are finally getting to laugh in those cocky Philly fans faces.

Psyche! WE’RE THE BEST TEAM IN THE LEAGUE Y’ALL! Joel Embiid is the Player of the Week for the East (#plusminus)! He’s putting up Wilt Chamberlain numbers (#Per36)! Robert Covington is the clutchest player since Kobe and among the league leaders in the most important statistic (#deflections)! TJ McConnell is … well … he tries really hard! GET AT ME HATERS!

As we all know, a record of 16 wins and 27 losses officially proves that The Process was an overwhelming success. Just as all us Philly fans already knew. We’re so smart. Remember that time we traded Sam Bradford for a first round pick? Classic genius Philadelphia. Remember that time we drafted Larry Hughes over Dirk Nowitzki and Paul Pierce? Wait-I meant remember that time we drafted Michael Carter Williams over Giannis Antetokounmpo? Er-I meant, uh-we have swap rights with the Kings!

But I digress. The point is that obviously The Process is more than just a philosophy, it is a science. And it’s about time that we extend our Hinkie Magic™ onto others that are need. Here are some teams that need to employ The Process in 2017.

Cleveland Browns

Now as you’ve probably noticed, the Browns have already tried to implement The Process. Look at the season they had last year. Look at them trading down in the draft and playing Cody Kessler at Quarterback. I mean please. The problem is, they don’t know how to properly implement The Process in a football setting. They found out Terrelle Pryor can play wide receiver which was good stuff. Maybe he can be their super version of KJ McDaniels and flip him for some second round picks. But giving up assets to get Chandler Jones? Are you crazy Browns?

Just remember to think “What Would Hinkie Do?” (#WWHD) out there. Start acquiring more 6^th and 7^th round picks. Those will come in handy! Trust us, we’ve totally used all the 2^nd round picks we’ve acquired. When you get your hands on injured assets, rest them for two to three years. And then draft more injured assets. People get injured in the NFL all the time, so you’ll be ahead of the curve if your players are all already injured. And then my last piece of advice would be to load up on running backs. Get like 6 of them. Because running back used to be a really important position, but now the game has evolved to a different level where running back is not actually a big deal.

Milesplit

Look, Milesplit you’ve had a good run. Remember that time you made the finals thanks to your Discussion Forum? Good times. Sure the Discussion Forum didn’t always play by the rules, but the Discussion Forum always had an Answer. But that Discussion Forum is long gone and only Ice Cube knows if it can still play.

Since then, you took metaphorically took the Celtics to 7 that one time with your hard work and those crazy top 500 lists. But those were gimmicks that can’t last forever and Derrick Rose isn’t going to get injured every year. Time to make some moves and take some chances. I’d trade off Dan Beck for assets. You can probably get good value for him. Open up a ton of cap space. That may mean Phil Grove has to go, but you don’t need mentors for a team of young impressionable track and field writers who have no experience and could potentially punch fans in the face because they don’t under how to be a professional! With that cap space, you can throw a lot of money at young up and coming writers. Garrett Zatlin and Caleb Gatchell’s contracts are up at the end of the year. Maybe make a bid at them. If you swing and miss, Alex Fox, Evan Hatton and Sean Collins are expiring the next year. And trust me TheRealTrain doesn’t have the budget to keep them all. They don’t even have pop up adds when you click on stuff!

Friendly’s

I know it’s hard Friendly’s but it’s time to tank. You’ve had successes, but eventually everyone needs to retool and get better. Especially in this new somewhat health crazed but also filled with fast food chain world. The good news is, you already have your asset: ice cream. Whatever you do, don’t trade that ice cream. Hold on to it for dear life like Sixers fans hold onto their first round draft picks. Like sure, maybe we can use Nerlens and a first to get an established 20+ point scorer in CJ McCollum, but no we don’t was established all-star caliber players, The Process is about blind faith in 19 year olds!

And that’s the thing Friendly’s. You are going to need lots of 19 year olds. They are the back bone of a business. They will cost a lot less money than veterans and they have a ton of upside. I’d also suggest maybe stashing some foreign workers overseas until you build up the right amount of talent in the kitchen to warrant bringing them back.

Modern Family

The once beloved TV Show was on top of the world. But they’ve fallen hard since then to the point where they have become unwatchable. Kinda like the Miami Heat. And also like the Miami Heat, you are going to need to tank right now. You may have to trade the beloved Phil Dunphy, the backbone of the franchise, for some tall, afro having Los Angeles Kid. Don’t worry, eventually he will probably win a Golden Globe Championship with some other California team shortly after that Los Angeles Kid gets injured and traded. He will be happy.

So that’s my advice. It’s going to be hard. There are going to be haters. They are going to be days where Ish Smith looks like Steve Nash. Brandon Davies may get some starts. But just remember, that after all that hardship, you too could be the third worst team in the East that still has a log jam at the center position, relatively little shooting and, at least right now, the potential to one day maybe get a draft pick from the Lakers.

Trust The Process