TJ to the Max

By Jarrett Felix

Things change with time. It’s a powerful thing. That’s why people say phrases like “time heals all wounds” and stuff. As a runner I’m quite familiar with the concept of time. But still, time continues to do things that amaze me.

You see, time has changed my impression of TJ McConnell. Like a lot. Let’s take a look at the evolution of Mr. Timmy John, Jr. through a list of quotes that I basically said during his career. I paraphrase a bit in spots. We can watch as he goes from dude from Arizona to Michael Jordan. And, hey, shout out to his Chartiers Valley in PA for creating this fantastic specimen.

In the beginning, there was doubt …

“Is that the dude from Arizona? Did we use a second round pick on him? No? Ok, cool I wouldn’t want to waste our second round picks.”

“I like that he’s kinda scrappy and seems to play hard. But why wouldn’t we just get Aaron Craft or somebody like that. I’d rather have Aaron Craft that TJ McConnell. Like how big of a difference is there really between these two.”

“This was one of the Sixers most genius moves. Let’s start TJ McConnell. This is really gonna help us get the #1 pick.”

In the middle, there was more doubt …

“He’s really good at dribbling in circles. I will give you that.”

“It seems like he just doesn’t want to shoot. Like how can we have a player on the court who doesn’t want to shoot. What if he just happens across the ball in the final seconds of a game against like the Knicks or someone? We would lose in this hypothetical situation that hasn’t happened yet!”

“Like imagine if we had a rumba as point guard. And it just went around in circles, never shooting and handing off the ball to other players. How big of a difference is there really between the two.”

“I’m glad we didn’t resign Ish Smith, AKA the MVP of the league, so that we could get more minutes of TJ McConnell. Thanks, Colangelos.”

“It’s cool guys. We have a real point guard now. Sergio Rodriguez. He’s the next big thing.”

“This is a sick picture of Joel and Ben and co. But what is TJ doing in the picture? Can we photo shop him out?”

Then, I kinda started to come around …

“Hey, he’s not the most talented guy in the world. But he’s trying really hard out there. Gotta give credit where credit is due.”

“Yo did TJ almost just have a triple double? That can’t be right. That would be like a team coming back from 28-3 in the Super Bowl or something.”

“Dude, TJ played like 35 minutes last night. And … like … I don’t think it’s cause we are trying to tank. It’s cause he gives us the best chance to win …”

“Guys, Lebron was really pissed about his lack of playmakers/back-up point guards so the Cavs called us about TJ McConnell. Like Lebron James wants to improve his chances of winning a championship by getting TJ McConnell.”

“Guys, we just basically told the Cavs to go (edited for contact) over TJ. And I’m cool with it! We gotta keep TJ!”

And, well, I’m not proud of what happened next …

“I saw a picture of TJ side by side with Michael Jordan and I was like, how big of a difference is there really between these two.”

“Hey train writing staff, I’ve got an idea for my next post: ‘Can TJ McConnell be the best player on a championship team?’. I think I make a good argument for why he can be.”

“Here’s the thing, I’m worried we might have to trade Ben Simmons because I’m not sure how he and TJ’s games will blend.”

“People said that the process would never work, but those people didn’t understand. Like Sam was just hunting for his star player before he could start to build up around him. It’s a shame we didn’t give Sam the chance to build around TJ.”

“Who’s clutcher TJ or Brady? Like honestly, how big of a difference is there really between these two.”

“And, hey, shout out to his Chartiers Valley in PA for creating this fantastic specimen.”

Now if you will excuse me, I need to go buy a cat.