Bold Predictions for 2016

by Jarrett Felix

This has become something of an annual tradition here on the blog. You might remember the 2015 Bold Predictions or perhaps even the 2014 Bold Predictions which both ended up being surprisingly accurate. And by surprisingly accurate, I mean I enjoyed reading them back today and marveling at how wildly inaccurate they were (although 2014 actually wasn't half bad, 2015 was ... well, 76ers-esque). So here's to 2016 ladies and gentlemen and hopes of great things to come in the new year!

1. I will alternate between referring to myself in first and third person throughout my posts in 2016. Readers will be extremely confused by etrain’s decision to alternate between these two points of view.
2. CB West will win the 4x800m at Outdoor States. And it will Rock.
3. The NCAA championships outdoors will switch from a 1500m to a mile. In protest, I will start keeping track of my mileage in 1500m intervals, calling it fifteen-hundredage.
4. I will almost immediately go back to calling it mileage because that is a stupid idea.
5. After having such brutally inaccurate predictions last year, etrain will throw in some obvious predictions just to make himself look better for potential sponsors. When he tries to call himself Nostraindamus, his fellow writers take away his computer privileges.
6. Dom Peretta will run something fast and etrain will talk about it in a blog post. That’s right, we go bold here on the blog.
7. The etrain writing staff will put together a DMR for the Corporate Race at Penn Relays. As long as etrain isn’t actually on the relay they will do pretty well.
8. A fan will be arrested for storming the court at a Warriors-Sixers game to try and hug Steph Curry. Although the fan in question will be held in custody for a week, Curry will call it the “best hug he’s ever received” because of all the love and passion behind the hug.
9. The blog will have no posts for a week after the Warriors and Sixers face off in Philadelphia
10. Nick Dahl will finish with the fastest 2 mile in the state for 2016. This will lead to a bunch of “we need a meet of champs” type posts that no one will read.
11. Council Rock North will win Cross Country States but not the Viking Invitational
12. In an unrelated story, ForrestCRN and PADon’tPlay will suddenly begin posting in bunches around October.
13. It will be a leap year in 2016. You heard it here first.
14. Robby Andrews will grab a medal in the 2016 Olympics at 1500m. When he returns to the states, he and etrain will share a platonic date at Rita’s Water Ice to discuss his tactics and kick. Once again, it will be pretty Mac and Cheese.
15. My fellow writers will continue to do a great job expanding the content on the site. So much so that people will appreciate we have eight writers who are balling on all cylinders.
16. etrain will try to work the phrase “balling on all cylinders” into more posts. He really likes it.
17. After Steph Curry wins a second straight MVP and the Warriors get another title, etrain will suddenly jump off the Steph Curry bandwagon, claiming that he has become “too mainstream” and he will move on to a new, exciting point guard.
18. Contrary to popular belief, it will not be Ish Smith.
19. Garrett Zatlin and company will lead the college section into a golden age for 2016. We will owe it all to the Craig Lutz shrine we pray to within our staff office.
20. In 2016, we get a staff office for the website. I know, right? Apparently, we become a pretty big deal in 2016.
21. We don’t actually become a big deal in 2016. The office is just etrain’s mom’s basement. But to be fair, she makes us hot cocoa in the winter. So overall, we decide it’s a sweet deal. Jealous flotrack?
22. They will hold the Olympic Championships in Rio for the Summer of 2016. Just call me Nostraindamus.
23. Penntrack and etrain will eventually have that prediction contest face-off for indoor states. After talking a huge game and getting super cocky about it, etrain will lose handily and be forced to hand over the rights to the website.
24. After indoor states, the blog will suddenly have Gatorade and Chocolate Milk ads on every page that automatically play every time you click on a post.
25. A variety of runners through the state (and the nation) will continue to overcome obstacles and make huge improvements. Although not all those runners will end up in a blog post or on penntrack’s home page, it does not mean their stories are not worth celebrating. So don’t forget to celebrate what you and your teammates have accomplished this past year and dream big for what next year could bring.

In other news, I don’t think that was actually a prediction. Not sure how that will affect the stats for sponsorships …