It's the slow time of year for most of the high school/college running websites and Jarrett Felix, known by many as "etrain" has taken this brief window of downtime to take a posting vacation to "recharge his batteries". Although many believe he won't be able to stay away until his slated mid-August return, the staff members are preparing for his absence with a reported NCAA Top 50 list in the works as well as an alleged recruiting classes post. It seems the blog will be in good hands while he is away.
Of course the site's creator and chief editor leaving a blog which he once called his "main time waster on my commute to work" seems odd for someone who, according to multiple sources, is still actively commuting to work. The "vacation" also comes on the heels of the news that former Grantland and ESPN personality Bill Simmons, one of Felix's self reported heroes, is making the move to HBO. Coincidence? Or two completely unrelated events that happened at the same time?
"Let's face it, etrain isn't going on any vacation," says one reader of the site. "He's getting out now, because he was forced out."
Yes, rumors are swirling that the founder was asked to step down from his post on the verge of a controversial decision to release his famous Top 50 list in groups of 10 rather than all at once as was earlier suggested by upper management.
"Look, it's well known within the writing staff that Howard does not like to be kept waiting. And the build up to the Hoey vs Brophy reveal was just the last straw."
Indeed, site's CEO Mr. Howard McIntyre, who is also one of the five dads of the upstart company Dadhat, was reportedly irate at the drawn out display of top 50 narcissism and threatened to pull out all of the sites generous sponsorship contribution (a whopping 37 cents from April to July) unless Felix was replaced atop to the blogging totem pole.
Rumors are also swirling that Howard was appalled that his son, James McIntyre, was left off the list. Howard refused to make himself available for comment on this unsettling news. We did catch up with fellow Dadhat dad Rich Brown who released this quote to our reports:
"Howard is a proud father like any of us Dads. I don't think he would let his love for his son affect his business relationships ... But I know for a fact he thought James's times warranted inclusion on the list. Although, James goes to school in Connecticut and is in 6th grade so I'm not sure he really understands the list. To be fair he doesn't really understand how the Internet works just yet. He's taking a class."
The controversial vacation comes at a time when the blog is rapidly approach it's 300,000 view and the crew is looking for a new logo and name. Perhaps a complete overhaul is in place to wipe etrain's name from the site entirely.
Felix, was a strict no comment, but we were able to access his email account and text messages. Careful research revealed that Felix has been training to try for a redemption run in the Sea Isle 10 Miler on August 1st. A year ago, after not running for 3 months, he ran the first part of the race at 6:20 pace before slowly and agonizingly crumbling to 7 minute pace for the second half.
"I think it's possible that he's struggling to balance a racing schedule with his blogging" said one friend close to etrain. "He ran about 5 minutes faster in 2013 when he was retired. Plus he wore pink shorts that year. Everybody knows that etrain shirt he created would clash horrible with the pink shorts."
This careful analysis does raise an interesting point. But still others deny both of these stories. One writer for the site, who chose to remain anonymous, claims, "etrain is still in great standing within the site. But recharging his batteries? Dude is Duracell, he doesn't need to recharge. He's working on something big behind the scenes: pre school."
Thanks to Caleb, I mean our anonymous writer, we believe that etrain is currently scouting the next crop of great distance runners at the local pre schools. We can expect a top 50 rankings to be released on a spin off blog: "The Real Choo-Choo Train". If he does proceed with this incredibly creepy venture, he is expected to be arrested within the week. The authorities have been notified.
Regardless of which of the stories you believe, it seems obvious we won't see a post from Jarrett Felix on this blog any time soon. I mean at the very least you aren't reading one right now. If anyone does run into him out at Sea Isle next weekend, I'd suggest trying to get the scoop from him on if and when he will return.
Or maybe just like say Hello and give an honest opinion on the blog. Maybe get one of those etrain shirts. He seems like a cool dude.
The official report from Jarrett's agent's mother's Twitter is that he will be back on August 15th with his usual analysis, checking in on PA's Top 10 teams. I believe this will be true, but how would I know? I'm not Jarrett Felix.
I guess we will just have to tune in on August 15th to find out more.
Sincerely,
definitely not Jarrett Felix
No comments:
Post a Comment