Road Race Season

By etrain11

I'm in a post collegiate stage of my running career. I have an actual career to worry about and a few big boy chores to take care of now that I'm paying rent and putting money in a 401k. Without the thrill of competition, I'd never be able to keep myself running on any sort of consistent basis. Just ask winter Jarrett. But now that I'm full set into spring, I'm all on a jam packed road race schedule and working my way back to respectability.

Road races are interesting animals, especially for someone who has been intensely immersed in the sport of competitive distance running. For me when I attend a road race, it's kind of like a college basketball walk-on floating around to join various pick up games. He's going to be near the top of a decent amount of games, certainly holding his own and some games he probably is the clear best player. But every once in a while he will roll through some particularly talented neighborhood and remember why he went and got a real job.

Out here on Long Island, despite the fact that I've been oscillating at various fitness levels, I've managed to have a decent chunk of success. I won a few races and placed highly and others. But to be fair, it's not like I'm strolling up to Rucker Park every week.

When I get to the race site, I'm instantly on the lookout for the other top dudes. Usually you can pick them out based on a few key qualities: age, shoe choice and clothing. My basic "I really don't want to lose to this guy" checklist 

- If you are wearing those feet shoes. 

- If you don't race in short shorts

- If you run a 5k in a GPS watch

- If you went to Wissahickon HS

- If you run with an iPod 

- If you are a girl

(for the record I've lost to all these types of dudes...)

Look, I'm not trying to be offensive, but as a man and a competitor, it's kinda hard to swallow getting your butt kicked by a girl. Trust me, I've gotten my butt kicked by girls and will continue to do so in the future. My current PRs in my best distance events would make me an average professional and my current PRs in my worst distance events would make me an above average 10th grade high school girl. 

Once, I was coming down the final straightaway at the Phil's Tavern 5k and was trying valiantly to outkick the top girl. Meanwhile, the meet officials were trying to bring out the tape for the top girl to break as champion. You know what happened? I outkicked her barely and ended up accidentally breaking her winners tape in 32nd overall. Not my proudest moment of chivalry. 

My friends are eagerly awaiting the day when my girlfriend (national qualifier in college for XC) beats me in a race. That's happening sometime within the next 3-5 years I'm sure. Eventually I'll get married and have kids. That's what I'm more dreading, the day long in the future when my daughter blows my doors off in a race for the first time. Assuming that she even wants to be a runner. Who am I kidding she is going to be half me?

Regardless, I scope out those runners, look around for kids doing drills or real jogging in sweats and start to keep a mental count of what place I'm in and who I have to beat out. If I can see your bib number a half hour out from race time I'm not too concerned about you. If you're super muscular and bulky I'm not afraid of you. Well, literally speaking I am definitely afraid of you, but race wise I'm more intimidated by the wiry kid who barely fills out his singlet.

Then we get out there and race. A 5k road race is just like any other race I've done. You have the kids who go out way over their head. You have the dudes who wait in the back and pick everyone off. You have that dude who after your done you think, how the heck is that guy good? And you have that dude who after the race, you gotta shake his hand because you just battled it out. I always try to shake hands with the guys around me win or lose ... But I hate losing and have been a sore loser since my 1st grade birthday party so I mean ....

Then you have awards. Look, at this point in my life medals and trophies and stuff just take up space in my already small apartment. That may sound cocky or something like that, but you will see what I'm talking about one day, I promise. Medals are only cool when they are tied to a great memory. That's because the memory is important, not the medal.

But all the same, if I can get some money or some gift cards or a hook up like that I'm all about it. I got a 100 dollar gift card to whole foods last time out. Your welcome mom.

My favorite part is when they announce times. If it's a race like the ones I've been in lately, when they announce "18:15" as the winning time people are gasping and clapping while I shamefully walk up and get my award more embarrassed that people think that's a big deal than anything else. When you are at a good meet and they announce the winning time is 17:30, people are similarly gasping or clapping for the winning girl who probably is also kinda embarrassed that people are making a big deal out of 17:30.

Road races are kinda a classic example of how running is so relative. What's good for me could be a PR for you but it also could be something you just ran in a workout. Both types of people exist. But what makes running great is when we all get together, everybody is cheering for everybody else like they are all the top dogs. There's a million different stories in a road race, and while some of them are less "finish under 16" and more "finish", it's a constant reminder that the sport is about setting and achieving goals. It's about getting the most out of yourself on a given day. 

So yeah, I'm done wearing jerseys and going to practice, but I'm never done competing. I'm never done enjoying the company of others who want to better themselves and are willing to work for it. So, hopefully, this is the start of a beautiful relationship with road racing.