Ben Taber is Back and Healthy: What Does this Mean for Gettysburg's 4x8 Hopes?

This weekend was a great weekend in the history of me. As some of you know, at the Muhlenberg Home Meet in 2012, I broke 2 minutes for the first time in the open 800m on my home track. Then I doubled back in around 2:09 for the 4x8 in traditional "add 10 seconds to what Jarrett ran earlier and that's the time he will run for his second race unless he completely blows up and embarrasses himself in the first race in which case subtract an amount of seconds equal to the numbers of hours he has to rest" fashion. It was a good day.

Now my larger, better looking training partner of old is looking to duplicate my achievement of sub 2 at Muhlenberg's track. I'm talking, of course, about my good friend Tony Calantoni (no seriously that's actually his name, I didn't make that up) who I wish the best of luck. Although I'm not as close with him (it's hard to imagine being closer with anyone than Anthony), Alex "Aaron" Zucker is also competing in the 800m and I will cheer for his courageous fight towards a personal best.

In a somewhat related story, Josh Elkan will be running the jog 600m and then sprint a 200m. No ones impressed Josh.

Before I go on to discuss the other possibilities for this meet (including but not limited to Lachlan Newcomb, moving steeple barriers, being scolded by Liz, and Matt Gillette vs the steeple barrier), it's important to note the most impressive achievement that I know of in Muhlenberg History. I'm talking, of course, about Zach Lifman's epic 10k at Widener where he ran "some time way faster than his PR and way too close to Luke Munyan's PR to make Luke Munyan happy". It was a brilliantly executed race, especially considering he wasn't even racing all out. 

It really brings up an interesting question: why the heck has he not been running the 10k for the past two years? I mean think about for a second. Here's what I imagine the train of thought here was: "I know that I don't have anywhere near the foot speed to qualify in anything under a mile and the 5k is the toughest event in the conference to qualify for. But the 10k is perfect for my exact skill set and is one of the easier conference qualifiers to get. But if I don't run the 10k, I can have a nice stream of hilarious self deprecating jokes in back pocket at all times thanks to my constant inability to qualify for a meet that Eric Strouse qualified for running on pure apathy. That will gel perfectly with my birthing day jokes and red beard."

But enough about the double F, let's take a look at the line up for the home meet!

The 1500m includes Steve Sroka on one foot, Luke Munyan preoccupied by the moment he has been waiting for his entire career next weekend at Bucknell, and Ken Wohl still scarred by the experience of racing the steeplechase for the first time since 2012 (technically he ran the steeplechase in 2013, but did he really race it?). I don't know which story line is most intriguing, I'm just hoping I get to catch the action in between wind gauge readings over at the long jump pit.

I've already covered the 800m in more detail than it probably deserved, but I will say that if you were really strong and you kind of stretched Josh Elkan he would look like Aaron Zucker. Also, I'm curious to see if I will still be stuck with wind gauge readings by that point in the meet. Who knows how much fun I could have with my fellow men's long jump crew Mark Brookland and Mike Baer. 

Although I'm going completely out of order here, there won't be any Mule men in the steeple (for the first time since who cares when) but that shouldn't stop me and Josh from moving the barrier. As much as I love watching Kenny steeple and Coach Hackett having no power to threaten to put me in the steeple, I'd much rather listen to I Really Like You with Kenny and do the Kenny dance. 

The Mule men will also have no one in the 5k (making that window my "run around in my etrain shirt and stare at people until they pretend to know who I am" window). Remember when we used to have a team? The mulenmen will have a total of 6 distance runners competing on Saturday. Here's a list of some teams that have more than 6 male distance runners competing this weekend:

We Are Athletes

The Oklahoma City Thunder

Cedar Crest College

Smash Mouth

Desales University

In the field, you can catch 0x Muhlenberg MVP and #10 all time in D3 history Tyler Bauer do only one event (the javelin) and thus not be that valuable to the team. Because how many points you score in a conference that is half all star distance runners and half people that you may have seen taking a spin class matters much more than the fact that you've basically been the schools best national caliber athlete since the second you stepped on campus. Congrats Ty, I bet you probably prefer the All American certificates anyway.

Now for the women's preview. 

I know I'm hilarious.