TheRealTrain: Lay Off Time

As you may have heard by now, ESPN has been suffering recently and the sports empire has had to make some major cuts to the staff. Things ain’t looking good over there. They got rid of Trent Dilfer for goodness sakes! Who is supposed to share Dilfer Dimes with us now!

Unfortunately, much like the world famous network, TheRealTrain blog has also been hit hard in the subscriber column. Investors have pulled out as salary costs continue to rise and profits continue to decline. So, naturally, just like ESPN, cuts would have to be made at TheRealTrain.

The rumor mill was swirling early this morning surrounding Garrett Zatlin. In recent weeks, the star NCAA commentator has branched off into his own site, The Stride Report, and created a nice alternative route to success should his parent company decide to let him go. Although reports are claiming that Zatlin will have a “reduced role” going forward (much like Ryen Russillo at ESPN), it seems that his job is safe for now.

An investigation revealed Mr. Caleb Gatchell was potentially on the chopping block. The 1500 meter stand out’s firing would have been particularly back breaking given that he has some big events on the horizon that will require considerable financial investment. But Gatchell too is safe after getting the blog some nice little publicity via the Flotrack twitter account.

In the end, the focus of the company ended up on the two guys at the top of the payroll: Jarrett Felix and etrain11.

“It’s hard to justify paying both of those guys for essentially doing the same role,” says RealTrain management, “We honestly found ourselves asking each other: ‘What’s the difference between these two guys?’”

So who was going to go? Fans took to twitter and helped get #SaveHaven trending on the site. That doesn’t have anything to do with this, but it’s the closest we have ever come to even remotely getting something trending so why not mention it?

“Etrain definitely has the star factor,” a source close to the information revealed, “But with the star appeal also comes the start attitude. He can be tough to work with sometimes. Felix, on the other hand, is a bet less rash. A bit more measured. He seems like a cool dude not gonna lie.”

To clarify the source was definitely not Jarrett Felix.

At 4:02 this afternoon, it was revealed that Jarrett Felix was the odd man out. He will receive a severance package of $42 for his work (equivalent to a 382% pay increase), but otherwise is left to fend for himself in the wild of the freelance bloggersphere.

“I’d be lying if I said it was easy,” Management said in a surprisingly candid post-firing interview, “But we couldn’t afford to lose etrain. I mean, the site is called TheRealTrain for goodness sakes.”

“Right now we just need to make sure this doesn’t go to his head,” says a fellow writer who chose to remain nameless, “I wouldn’t be surprised at all if he makes a post in third person about himself or some other self-absorbed kind of write up like that. But hey, it’s working for him.”

Only time will tell if this fellow writer is right or not. But one thing is for certain: this is etrain’s turf now. Let’s hope he can stay on track.